No Shame, Just Gain: Reimagining Your Relationship with Money

Shame is a lie that disconnects you from others, from yourselves, and your purpose.  It keeps you cowering in the dark where the monster of shame grows as it whispers, “you can’t tell anyone the truth, or they will see you’re not good enough”. 

Picture this: you’re sitting at home, worrying about your financial situation, and that heavy feeling of shame creeps in. Maybe you’re embarrassed about your credit score, guilty about past spending decisions, feel stupid for falling for a scam, or feeling like you don’t measure up to society’s standards of financial success.  Sound familiar? 

You’re not alone. While we don’t know the statistics about shame exactly, more than half of American as of April 2023 said that their financial situation has had a negative effect on their mental health.

It’s time to realize that shame should have no place in how you manage your money and kick it to the curb so that you can empower yourself to stand up to the lie and lean into the truth:

You are capable of change.  

However, shame is not just reserved for people who feel like they aren’t where they “should be”.  I have met people who felt shame around having “too much” money because they were afraid that their family and friends would think they were greedy or lacked moral character.

How do you cure shame?  

In Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown says “The antidote to shame is empathy.  If we reach out and share our shame experience with someone who responds with empathy, shame dissipates.” This may be a good time to reach out and ask for support (and I would be happy to chat with you).

Other ways to send shame on its way are:  

  • Be Kind to Yourself: Instead of beating yourself up over past money mistakes, show yourself some compassion. Remember, everyone stumbles along the way, and learning from those mistakes is how we grow.
  • Educate Yourself: Knowledge is power…well, acting on that knowledge is. Dive into resources about personal finance. Attend workshops, read books, or chat with a financial advisor. The more you know, the more confident you’ll feel.
  • Set Realistic Goals: Don’t get caught up in comparing your financial journey to others’. Set goals that make sense for your unique situation, and take one step at a time.
  • Spend Wisely: Create a spending plan that’s realistic and aligns with your income and expenses. You can read more about that HERE
  • Tackle Debt: If you’ve got debt, create a plan to pay it off. Don’t let debt define you; it’s just a challenge to overcome. I’ve got you covered on this HERE.

Don’t protect the shame that is keeping you in the shadows.  Be brave, and once you have stepped outside of the shame and put together the plan that will move you closer to what you want life to be, you can enjoy the benefits of peace of mind, doing what you love, and being generous. 

Financial growth goes hand in hand with personal growth and you have too much to offer the world to allow yourself to be held back by shame.  So, where are you going to start?